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Are you beating yourself too much? - Hemant Deshpande

Are you beating yourself too much?

“There are so many mistakes I have made in my career. The last role I played had so many opportunities to shine but I just did not cash it. I could have done so much better, but I did not do it. Such a waste! Then this foreign assignment that I did last year, oh my god, I followed some wrong advice, and did only what was asked, nothing more. It was a dream assignment for me, but I did not do justice to it. I failed miserably again.” One of my clients, Sameer (name changed), who works at senior mid-level at multi-national sports brand company was sharing with me in our last coaching conversation.

“What do you think is coming in your way?” I asked. He responded, “I know I am capable and want to do so many things but not sure what happens to me, I don’t feel like doing it. I know that I need to be proactive, take initiative and go that extra mile but every time I stop myself short. I feel like I have no energy to do anything. Something is wrong with me.” He continued talking about his failures and missed opportunities.

I listened for a while and then asked him, “Sameer, can I share an observation with you?” He said,” Sure, please do.” I continued, “I am listening to you for a while now and even from the previous conversations, I hear you talk about your mistakes and missed opportunities all the time. I am hearing you blaming yourself relentlessly. Haven’t heard a single word of appreciation about yourself. Is there a reason?”

Going by his profile, he had achieved a lot of things in his career and life.

There was long silence. Then Sameer responded, “You know what? I never thought about it. Yes, a couple of my friends have also pointed this out about me that I always criticize myself a lot. May be that’s why I don’t feel enthusiastic about doing a great job, take initiative. Hmm, something for me to think about….”

If a person keeps criticizing himself continuously, where will he gather energy and enthusiasm to move forward?

A coach can see what the client cannot see, a coach is able to hear what the client is not able to hear, a coach is someone who can say what others cannot dare say.

As human beings, we usually cannot identify our own limiting behavioral patterns, but a professional coach can do that and help you move forward.

Have you experienced coaching yet?

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